Tuesday, November 20, 2012

life is hard.

Sometimes life is hard. It’s easy for people who are happy and whose lives are going well to tell you “it gets better” or “be thankful for what you have” or “it could always be worse”, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. And, it’s all things I know; I know how good my life really is. I know I’m blessed to have an amazing family and supportive friends and an internship that I not only like, but that I’m good at. I know that I’m lucky to be in the program I’m in and to have parents that allow me to live in their home when I can’t afford to support myself (yay for graduate school!). I know that I’m healthy and I have a reliable car and my own space and luxuries many others don’t. I know all this.

But, those aren’t the things that keep me happy sometimes. There are points in most of our lives where the overwhelming feelings of hopelessness creep in and attach themselves to the corners of our brains and all you can focus on is that. There are times when all the things we don’t have or aren’t experiencing outweigh all the things that we do.

Is it self-pitying? Hell yeah it is. Is it a negative attitude to have toward life? Of course it is. But, sometimes, it’s just reality. We can’t all be strong all the time. Sometimes we need to be reminded of how hard life is, because sometimes, it’s too easy to stop working hard or trying hard or remembering that life actually is good. It’s easy to stop remembering to make ourselves happy and to stop relying on other things and other people to do the work for us.  It’s easy for us to hold on to the control none of us have over our own lives. We take for granted the good things in life; the people, the moments, our health, our opportunities, the stuff we have. We go through these wonderful moments in life – moments we didn’t know existed or could exist or that would ever exist in the first place – but they’re fleeting. Feelings are fleeting; people can be fleeting, and we’re reminded once more why life can be hard.

It’s okay to feel sorry for ourselves once in awhile, because sometimes, it’s the only thing we can mentally do when life seems too difficult to go on. Sometimes we need the people who love us the most to rally around us and hold us up when we can’t do it ourselves. Sometimes, we need to get over trying to be adult or strong or prideful or independent and let others pick us up when we’re down and to help us pick up our burdens and move forward.

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